Comments for Grace Unbound http://graceunbound.wordpress.com A journey through what was, what is, and what is yet to be. A journey into grace. Thu, 10 Sep 2009 19:34:28 +0000 http://wordpress.com/ hourly 1 Comment on And so it began by newmom http://graceunbound.wordpress.com/2008/04/27/and-so-it-began/#comment-678 newmom Thu, 10 Sep 2009 19:34:28 +0000 http://graceunbound.wordpress.com/?p=32#comment-678 Everyones stories have brought me relief, so i thank you all. I have been struggling with minor ocd since my childhood, and as i was growing up, i would "over" worry about things and make myself feel depressed. Once when i was young, i so called, "made out" with someone and thought i had aids or was pregnant. Of course, i was so young, i didnt know anything about aids but i knew i couldnt get pregnant from kissing. My guess is that i felt as if i should have gotten in trouble for what i did, but since nobody knew except myself, i punished myself through my thoughts and built them up to the point where they were ridiculous and irrational. After giving birth to my son, now 10 months old i went through different phases. First, of course, was the baby blues. That only lasted a few weeks and i felt normal again. Soon after, i developed a fear of everything! Going out in public, gas stations, even walking out my front door or in the garage. I felt intense anxiety over fears that someone was going to hurt my baby or myself as well. I feared that as i walked out of my house, someone would pop up from hiding and attack me and my son. I feared that while we were at a gas station, it would get robbed and we would get shot. I feared that an overpass would collapse while i was driving under it. I feared of burgalars while i was in my home, especially at night. I would repeatedly check the doors to make sure they were locked (ocd). After the fears of someone hurting my baby subsided, a new fear was established. One day i found myself stuck in traffic on an overpass and remembered a story i heard about a mother who threw her baby over an overpass into the traffic. I thought, "How could a mother do such a thing to her baby?" Then, I pictured myself being the mother, doing that to my son. I was horrified that something like that would even go threw my mind. It seems like ever since that day on the bridge, the thoughts kept coming. They were intrusive and unwanted and they began to make me feel very guilty, heavy, weighed down, depressed, full of anxiety and i began worrying if i would actually do such things. I felt like i was going crazy. I began seeing a therapist and am on buspar, which seems to be helping. I just hope that this will all end soon and i will feel normal and sane once again. Everyones stories have brought me relief, so i thank you all. I have been struggling with minor ocd since my childhood, and as i was growing up, i would “over” worry about things and make myself feel depressed. Once when i was young, i so called, “made out” with someone and thought i had aids or was pregnant. Of course, i was so young, i didnt know anything about aids but i knew i couldnt get pregnant from kissing. My guess is that i felt as if i should have gotten in trouble for what i did, but since nobody knew except myself, i punished myself through my thoughts and built them up to the point where they were ridiculous and irrational. After giving birth to my son, now 10 months old i went through different phases. First, of course, was the baby blues. That only lasted a few weeks and i felt normal again. Soon after, i developed a fear of everything! Going out in public, gas stations, even walking out my front door or in the garage. I felt intense anxiety over fears that someone was going to hurt my baby or myself as well. I feared that as i walked out of my house, someone would pop up from hiding and attack me and my son. I feared that while we were at a gas station, it would get robbed and we would get shot. I feared that an overpass would collapse while i was driving under it. I feared of burgalars while i was in my home, especially at night. I would repeatedly check the doors to make sure they were locked (ocd). After the fears of someone hurting my baby subsided, a new fear was established. One day i found myself stuck in traffic on an overpass and remembered a story i heard about a mother who threw her baby over an overpass into the traffic. I thought, “How could a mother do such a thing to her baby?” Then, I pictured myself being the mother, doing that to my son. I was horrified that something like that would even go threw my mind. It seems like ever since that day on the bridge, the thoughts kept coming. They were intrusive and unwanted and they began to make me feel very guilty, heavy, weighed down, depressed, full of anxiety and i began worrying if i would actually do such things. I felt like i was going crazy. I began seeing a therapist and am on buspar, which seems to be helping. I just hope that this will all end soon and i will feel normal and sane once again.

]]> Comment on And so it began by soulfish7 http://graceunbound.wordpress.com/2008/04/27/and-so-it-began/#comment-670 soulfish7 Mon, 22 Jun 2009 06:41:00 +0000 http://graceunbound.wordpress.com/?p=32#comment-670 I'm totally relieved after reading this article!!! Graceunbound thank you for posting this! What a tremendous help! I'm dealing with PPOCD and just realized it ... and there is now a new sense of freedom. My Doc believed it was not ppd so I've been hunting online and now I know!! One thing I refuse is to allow shame to keep this a secret ... what has helped was to fight those guilty, shameful feelings and share (talk it out) every emotion, thought and feeling to my best friends and Pastors. I have built a strong and unconditional loving support around me with friends and family who have helped me through those 'stormy' moments. I know they love me, know me and don't judge me! Hiding makes it worse! Forgiving myself has been huge as well with prayer! I'm taking whole food multi-vitamin with the B's, Omega 3's, and natural herbs that have helped! I get out and exercise ... I jog, take long walks while breathing deeply and praying ... I just recently went in my little garden and pulled all the weeds out (which was so therapeutic). I'm taking up scrap booking and doing things that bring joy! I thank God everyday that He is with me and that I'm not alone and that this too shall pass!! I'm learning to choose joy each day and take one day at a time ... not thinking about yesterday nor tomorrow. I'm learning to replace those 'scary thoughts' with a happy memory that brings joy. It's not easy but I'm a fighter and the freedom I have is thru choice ... although I didn't choose to have this, I'm choosing not stay down! There are some great books out there that can help ... I do read the bible and have faith in Christ, and I read books by people of faith who have overcome depression, anxiety etc... If you haven't heard of Joyce Meyers, check out some of her books... truly life changing!! Blessings to each of you, .. stay strong you are beautiful women who are loving moms ... we will overcome! I’m totally relieved after reading this article!!! Graceunbound thank you for posting this! What a tremendous help! I’m dealing with PPOCD and just realized it … and there is now a new sense of freedom. My Doc believed it was not ppd so I’ve been hunting online and now I know!!
One thing I refuse is to allow shame to keep this a secret … what has helped was to fight those guilty, shameful feelings and share (talk it out) every emotion, thought and feeling to my best friends and Pastors. I have built a strong and unconditional loving support around me with friends and family who have helped me through those ’stormy’ moments. I know they love me, know me and don’t judge me! Hiding makes it worse! Forgiving myself has been huge as well with prayer! I’m taking whole food multi-vitamin with the B’s, Omega 3’s, and natural herbs that have helped! I get out and exercise … I jog, take long walks while breathing deeply and praying … I just recently went in my little garden and pulled all the weeds out (which was so therapeutic). I’m taking up scrap booking and doing things that bring joy! I thank God everyday that He is with me and that I’m not alone and that this too shall pass!! I’m learning to choose joy each day and take one day at a time … not thinking about yesterday nor tomorrow. I’m learning to replace those ’scary thoughts’ with a happy memory that brings joy. It’s not easy but I’m a fighter and the freedom I have is thru choice … although I didn’t choose to have this, I’m choosing not stay down! There are some great books out there that can help … I do read the bible and have faith in Christ, and I read books by people of faith who have overcome depression, anxiety etc… If you haven’t heard of Joyce Meyers, check out some of her books… truly life changing!! Blessings to each of you, .. stay strong you are beautiful women who are loving moms … we will overcome!

]]> Comment on Seasons, sadness and joy by Angela http://graceunbound.wordpress.com/2009/04/27/seasons-sadness-and-joy/#comment-656 Angela Thu, 30 Apr 2009 01:19:34 +0000 http://graceunbound.wordpress.com/?p=566#comment-656 I will miss reading your writings for sure, but know you well enough to know that you understand when God is speaking to you and obedience is such a beautiful gift to Him. I will miss reading your writings for sure, but know you well enough to know that you understand when God is speaking to you and obedience is such a beautiful gift to Him.

]]> Comment on Seasons, sadness and joy by Elizabeth http://graceunbound.wordpress.com/2009/04/27/seasons-sadness-and-joy/#comment-655 Elizabeth Tue, 28 Apr 2009 04:50:43 +0000 http://graceunbound.wordpress.com/?p=566#comment-655 I'm sad to read this. I've loved reading your thoughts and ramblings, although I never thought you rambled. I am one of those girls that you challenged and whose heart you touched time and again. Yet you sound so peaceful about it and certain that this is what you are supposed to do for now, so that makes me feel better. I hope you'll still read my ramblings (and they often are) and comment. And why not e-mail? That would be fun! You know where to find me. I’m sad to read this. I’ve loved reading your thoughts and ramblings, although I never thought you rambled. I am one of those girls that you challenged and whose heart you touched time and again. Yet you sound so peaceful about it and certain that this is what you are supposed to do for now, so that makes me feel better.

I hope you’ll still read my ramblings (and they often are) and comment. And why not e-mail? That would be fun! You know where to find me.

]]> Comment on Seasons, sadness and joy by Ronel http://graceunbound.wordpress.com/2009/04/27/seasons-sadness-and-joy/#comment-654 Ronel Tue, 28 Apr 2009 03:31:31 +0000 http://graceunbound.wordpress.com/?p=566#comment-654 Loretta, May God lead you into this new season with an open heart and mind. May He continue to guide you and bless your life. I will miss your posts but I will be praying for God to lead you where ever He needs you. Blessings, Ronel Loretta,

May God lead you into this new season with an open heart and mind. May He continue to guide you and bless your life. I will miss your posts but I will be praying for God to lead you where ever He needs you.

Blessings,
Ronel

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